Objectives
by Dawn47
Summary: Kathryn is set on a course of action that will result in some much needed changes on her ship.
1. Chapter 1

Kathryn rang the chime on Chakotay's quarters. She was on edge, but surprisingly complacent about the course of action she had decided upon.

When the door opened, he was standing in the opening, blocking her entrance. "Kathryn!" he said with surprise. "What brings you by?"

She didn't need to peer around him to see who was in his quarters. That, she already knew. Instead, she looked him straight in the eye and asked, "I'm here to cash in that raincheck."

"Raincheck?"

"For a meal. I don't need a meal, per se, but I could use a friend."

He looked carefully at her, his entire presence on alert. "Is something wrong?"

She clicked her tongue as she looked down the corridor.

"Kathryn," he said, reaching out to take her hand. "What is it?"

"May I come in?" she asked, even though she knew perfectly well what the answer would be. "I'd rather not talk in the corridor."

He opened his mouth to say something and then thought better of it. Without looking behind him, he whispered, "Would you give me a few minutes? I'll come to your quarters."

She tried to look apologetic. "I interrupted something."

"Something," he said with a sigh. "Yeah, but I need to talk to you about this something anyway."

Her eyebrows rose, but she didn't ask him to elaborate. "Okay. I'll expect you whenever you can get away. Meanwhile, I'll collect my thoughts."

"Collect your thoughts? You sure you're okay?"

"I don't recall saying that I was." She forced a smile to put him at ease. "But don't worry. I'll tell you about it when you're free."

"Give me about twenty minutes."

"Thank you," she said as she started walking down the corridor. When she'd reached her quarters, she heard Seven's voice.

"Chakotay? Is she gone?"

* * *

Kathryn took a quick sonic shower, changed her clothes, and was waiting patiently on her couch when her chime rang. "Come," she said.

He came to her side quickly. "I'm all yours."

Kathryn had to turn her head to the side to keep from showing her slight grin. "I'm so glad."

"What happened?"

"I… uh…" She hesitated as she picked at the lint balls on her velour pants. "I had a plan for talking to you about this, but now I find myself flustered."

"Kathryn Janeway doesn't get flustered."

Shrugging, she said, "Must not know her very well. When it comes to her personal life, she gets very flustered."

"Oh, I thought this was duty-related."

"Would you not have come if it was personal, then? I tried not to make it sound like an order from your captain."

"Of course I would've come. You're my closest friend and I'm here to support you in any way you need."

She nodded her gratitude. "I appreciate that, but what I want to know what your needs are, Chakotay?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, is there something missing from your life? Do you have needs that, as a friend, I'm not meeting?"

"Um." He held his breath while managing to say, "I'm not sure how to answer that."

"You're not?"

"That question with a slightly different inflection could almost be considered a come on."

"Almost?" Licking her lips, she adjusted her posture so that she was facing him. "Then let me try again."

"Again?" He swallowed hard and watched her every movement with great interest.

Kathryn cupped his jaw both hands, looked straight into his eyes, and asked with a much more husky tone to her voice, "Chakotay, do you have any needs that I, as a friend, am not meeting?"

"As a friend?" He looked at her nervously.

"I believe that you're concentrating on the wrong part of that question. Am I meeting your needs? Is this friendship all that you need?"

Taking her hands from his face, he said, "I'm not that dense, Kathryn."

"Well, I'm a little rusty at this. If you wouldn't mind, I'd appreciate a little help. Maybe you could read between the lines."

He tilted his head and studied her. "What's going on?"

"What do you think?"

"Well, I'm thinking of a lot of things."

"Such as?"

"First and foremost, I'm thinking of you meeting my 'needs.'" He cleared his throat. "But because I know you, I'm thinking that you've been possessed by an alien consciousness, that you're up to something and trying to use me, or that you've finally come to your senses."

She pursed her lips and lowered her chin. "Use you? Come to my senses? Care to rephrase?"

"What? You'd deny that you've used your feminine wiles to get your way before?"

"I didn't say anything of the sort."

"So, what's going on? When are you dropping the other shoe?"

Narrowing her eyes, she said, "It's a good thing I like you."

"A very good thing." He stood and asked, "Mind if I pour some wine? I think we could use it."

With a wave, she gave her permission. "You're being cheeky, and I'm trying to accomplish an objective."

As he was pouring, he said, "You just proved my point. What is your objective?"

After giving him a steely look over the rim of her glass, she took a sip and replied, "For your information, my objective is to tell you that I'd like to fulfill your needs, as much more than a friend."

He sputtered on his wine. "What?" he asked as he was coughing.

"You heard me. I may be goal oriented enough to use my feminine wiles, but I would hope that the object of my affection wouldn't mind a little flirting, regardless of how bad it may be."

"The object of your affection?" His eyes were wide in amazement.

Sighing casually, she said, "But if you're not interested, there's nothing else I can do short of showing up naked."

His voice was unusually high as he replied, "Naked?"

"Yeah, I read a joke about that one time. For a woman to get turned on, she needs a full evening of courtship. For a man to get turned on, he just needs the woman to show up naked."

Chakotay tugged on his ear in embarrassment. "Um, yeah, I'd say that's probably true."

"All right," Kathryn said as she began to unbutton her shirt.

He stopped her. "What are you doing?"

"I'm a skilled negotiator, Commander. I'm fulfilling a small request of the opposing party in order to achieve my ultimate objective."

"You think getting naked is a small request?" He blinked slowly and looked at her again. "I think we should revisit the alien possession angle."

Frowning, she muttered, "Why did I always assume that this would be a sweet, romantic conversation full of mutual adoration? And kissing, I'd always imagined kissing."

"Kathryn," he said as he took her hand and adopted a very serious tone. "Is this real?"

"Yes."

He looked into her eyes as if searching for something. "If this is real, then I've just acted like a jerk."

She nodded. "Yes, you have."

"I'm sorry, but help me understand. This came out of nowhere."

"Before I do that, I have one question."

"All right."

"Two, really. Am I completely off base here? Do you want me?"

He clutched his chest. "God, yes."

Trying not to smile, she asked, "To which?"

"I want you, Kathryn. I love you." He tugged on her hand and guided her to straddle his lap. He cradled her face in his hands much like she'd done to him earlier. "This is too good to be true."

"Using a delusional disorder as a defense isn't going to help your case, Commander. I know you too well."

He chuckled as he stroked his fingers through her hair. "Before I kiss you…"

"I thought I was about to kiss you."

Holding a finger against her lips, he re-stated, "Before I kiss you, I need to tell you that I had a woman in my quarters tonight."

"I know."

"Yes, but you don't know who."

"Seven."

His eyes widened. "How did…?

It was her turn to hold her finger against his lips. "Unlike you, I worked out a defense in advance. I'm going to plead both the seventh guarantee against self-incrimination and the temporal prime directive, but my plan was to kiss you before I got to the explaining part. I hope you don't mind."

"Temporal?"

"Yes."

"Time travel? Today?"

"Yes, Commander. Your captain was off this ship for several hours, unbeknownst to this timeline." She leaned in and said, "Now stop asking questions. I've wanted to do this for years, and I'm not waiting another second."

She lowered her mouth to taste him, hesitantly moving her lips against his until she felt the pressure of his response. He wrapped her in a tight embrace, bringing her body close so that she was pressed firmly against him. As one of his hands tangled in her hair, the warmth of his soft, full lips completely filled her senses.

Their mouths opened to each other and their tongues joined the dance, gradually coaxing the kiss deeper and deeper. A heady energy came over her as their mouths explored the newfound connection that, now made, would never be lost.

She threaded her fingers into his hair, strengthening their connection. Intense sparks sizzled through her veins as a hot rush of arousal came over her, culminating with a fire deep within her belly where it felt as if wet heat was pouring out of her. Instinctively, she tilted her pelvis forward and found his arousal strong and sure.

Kathryn moaned, arching her body to give Chakotay the clear signal that she wanted to be touched, but instead of reciprocating, he loosened his hold and withdrew his mouth, whispering, "We'd better slow down."

"Nooo," she said with a whimper. "I want you."

"I know, and I want you, too," he said as he gave her a lingering kiss. "But we should talk about what's going on here."

"Indulge me, just for a few minutes." She tightened her hold, but instead of re-initiating the kiss, she nestled against the side of his neck, savoring his warmth and his solid, sure presence. He was a balm to her lonely spirit, quieting the fears she'd felt earlier that day if not the fears she'd been feeling since Voyager had been thrown into the Delta Quadrant. Her body shuddered in response to her emotions, causing him to rub her back with long, comforting strokes.

"Kathryn?"

"I need this."

"Talk to me," he encouraged gently.

"I will, just let me savor this – I've dreamt of this for so long."

He adjusted their position slightly to make them more comfortable, enfolded her in his arms, and kissed the side of her face as he held her close. "I love you."

With her voice now muffled, she replied, "I love you, too."

He chuckled, prompting her to sit up and look at him.

"What's funny about that?"

"You're quite endearing when you're snuggly."

She smiled, touching his face as she looked at him as if it were the first time she'd seen him. "I've studied your face while you've slept, but you look so different when you're awake."

"Probably has more to do with the pure joy running out of my pores at this moment."

"We're going to have to be careful with this. Will you help me?"

"Absolutely."

"My intention…" She paused as she laughed at herself. "My objective…"

With a wink, he said, "See, I knew you had ulterior motives."

"My objective," she restated, "is that this be forever. So, if we fight, we have to fight fair. We have to communicate with each other, be open. I know I'm going to have a harder time with that than you, but will you be patient with me?"

"Yes, if you'll tell me what happened today that brought this about."

"I want you to trust that I made the best decision I could with the information that was presented to me."

"I trust you implicitly, Kathryn."

"And I want you to know that I've wanted this…" She motioned between them. "For years, but I felt I couldn't handle the emotional toll that would come with it."

"Something happened to make you think you could?"

"No," she said as she shook her head. "Something happened that made me realize I couldn't handle not having you as my soul mate."

"Soul mate?" He caressed her cheek with the backs of his fingers. "That's very poetic."

"It was the knowledge that no matter what timeline we may be progressing towards, one thing that has remained constant is our desire to grow old together."

"That's something I've wanted since you nudged your way into my heart."

"How long ago was that?"

"Six years, two hundred and forty seven days ago."

She did a double take and then laughed. "You made that number up."

"Yeah, so?"

Mussing up his hair, she said, "And before I tell you what happened today, I want you to understand why I came to you tonight, even knowing that Seven was with you and that you'd started a relationship."

"How did you know that?"

"I was on the Timeship Relativity today. When they're talkative, they're a veritable font of information. Also, I ran into two older versions of myself."

"That must have been rather unsettling."

"You have no idea," she said with a sigh as she traced his tattoo past his hairline.

"So, what was your reasoning? Not that I mind, by the way."

Kathryn continued to play with his hair, not meeting his eyes. "Once I was armed with the knowledge that we're destined to be together, I suppose that I decided you were mine. Once that was settled, I really had no qualms about interrupting your date. That's also the reason I didn't toss you out on your ear when you were being a jerk earlier."

"Have I made up for that?"

"In spades."

He chuckled, luxuriating in her caresses. "I'm all yours, you say?"

"I'm rather bossy, aren't I?"

"I have no problems with that when it comes to your staking your claim on me."

"Good," she said as she crossed her arms and stared at him. "Now, what were you doing with her in the first place?"

"Looking for a very poor replacement for you. I figured if I couldn't have one of the two most beautiful women on this ship, I'd settle for the third when she showed an interest."

"Two?"

"You and B'Elanna. I had a crush on her when the Maquis first rescued her, but felt I couldn't act on it because of the age difference."

Lowering her chin, she asked, "Did you notice the age difference of your visitor earlier this evening?"

He shrugged. "I was a smarter man nine years ago and less desperate. It's rough spending so much time with someone you love and not being able to act on it."

"Tell me about it," she said with a sigh. "Just so you know, you're taking the steam out of my engine."

"How's that?" He picked up one of her hands and kissed her knuckles.

"I was livid when I found out about you two today and I had a few choice words prepared about her being half your age, blonde, and built like a brick outhouse."

Chakotay unfastened another button on her shirt. "Weren't you taking this off earlier? I never saw her chest, but I would be happy to point out all of the redeeming qualities of yours."

She batted his hands away. "Later."

He captured her hands and held them lovingly. "So, you were saying?"

Eyeing him suspiciously, she said, "Once I calmed down and realized that I had a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to get a second and third chance at correcting past mistakes, my mind was a little clearer."

"Second Iand/I third?"

"Strict confidence?"

"The strictest."

"Today, I made a decision about a course of action that affects all of our lives, and for the first time, I'm not feeling the least bit guilty about being in the Delta Quadrant right now."

His mouth dropped open slightly in surprise. "What was the decision?"

"We're the third timeline after the first two didn't work, or, to explain better, the first one had some situations that were unbearable for me and Voyager. I came back in time and changed it, but Relativity was unhappy with timeline two. We worked out a compromise to reset the first."

"They compromised with you?"

"Mmm hmm. With my two other selves, actually. I was brought in to hear the final decision and then they spent the next couple of hours trying to convince me." She stretched her neck and said, "I really wish you'd been there. I could've used your support."

"Me, too. Sounds like it was taxing."

She nodded. "The oldest version of me brought some new technology that would enable Voyager to go into that nebula that was swarming with Borg. Harry was right about there being wormholes of some kind in there."

"Go on," he encouraged.

"After my second self made it through a wormhole and got us home, the Relativity showed up to stop all versions of me from severely contaminating the timeline. They'd worked out the result of the change and the biggest issue was the technology that was displaced by thirty years. Also, Voyager had more of an impact on the Delta Quadrant for the next sixteen years than my first self thought. There were some other issues that you'll have to trust me on."

"Okay, what was the compromise?"

"We don't get to go home right now, but I get to make some changes onboard that will ensure a better life for us, thereby making it significantly less plausible that I'll want to go back and change the timeline again."

"Am I one of those changes?"

"The very first."

"I'm honored," he said with a smile. "What else do we need to do?"

"We?"

"You told me, so now I'm in on it." He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear as he added, "And, I believe you were referring to a life-time commitment earlier."

"While those are both true statements, they're not a solid argument."

"You sound like a lawyer tonight."

"I spent the day with several," she said with a grimace. "Other changes – away mission safety. We must not get lax, ever."

"I'll make that my top priority."

"I've got the names of a few species we're supposed to avoid, one of which took your life, but they wouldn't give me specifics."

"Oh, Kathryn," he said with sincere sympathy.

Eyebrows raised, she stated, "I've got half a mind to never let you leave the ship."

"I trust your instincts, but it's not going to do any good to wrap ourselves in a bubble. I've heard you say that staying on Voyager doesn't guarantee anyone's safety."

"I know." She leaned forward and kissed his temple at the apex of his tattoo. "Let's just make each day count."

"We'll figure it out, Kathryn."

Looking away, she blew out a cleansing breath before continuing. "We've also got a crewmember with a medical condition that our doctor can't heal, and I've been directed towards a species that can help him or her."

"Do you know who?"

"No, but the doctor does. We'll have to trust him."

Chakotay nodded. "Anything else you can tell me?"

"That's it. The only things I'm not sharing with you are some of the ramifications of changing the other timeline."

"Do you realize that we've had this entire command discussion with you sitting on my lap?"

Laughing, Kathryn said, "I guess any fears that I may have had about our involvement being distracting are unfounded."

"I disagree."

"You do? You don't seem distracted."

"I'm exquisitely aware of how far your shirt is unbuttoned right now."

She laughed as she separated the top of her shirt to show him the rise of her breasts. "Did you hear a word I said?"

"Yes, I did," he said with a wink as he drew an invisible line from the base of her throat down to her cleavage. "I'm quite used to being distracted and attentive at the same time."

Trembling, she asked, "Would you not do that while we're discussing ship's business?"

Not answering her question, he said, "I believe that once we get past the newness of this, we're going to be just fine."

Kathryn felt a wave of heat wash over her, and she had to force herself to stay with the conversation. "Meanwhile, do you have suggestions?"

"Yes. Institute an off-duty only rule and make this public so we aren't tempted to sneak around."

Taking his hand away from her chest, she said, "I was thinking of keeping it quiet."

"On this ship? Are you kidding?"

"You kept your relationship with Seven quiet," she pointed out.

"We only had two dates before tonight, and we were not in love." He ran his hands up her thighs until they settled on her hips. "I doubt anyone would notice something going on between Seven and me because there weren't any sparks flying around like there are when I'm around you."

Kathryn was mesmerized by the way his fingers were caressing her. "Sparks?"

"Can't you feel them?"

Her eyelids fluttered closed and her mouth dropped open as a pool of liquid settled in her groin. Her voice deep with arousal, she repeated, "Feel."

He watched her wanton reaction for only a moment before he took hold of her hands and brought her back to the conversation. "I hope you always feel this aroused from my touch."

"I…" She shook her head slightly to clear it. "What did you say?"

"I don't think it's possible to hide our love once it's unleashed. Hidden, we'll be the subject of gossip. Out in the open, we'll receive congratulations."

"Don't hurt Seven."

"I know," he said with resignation. "She's going to be really ticked."

Kathryn leaned forward and gave him another kiss. "But I'm worth it."

He smiled at her, reaching up to caress her cheek. "Have we talked about why you looked so sad in the corridor earlier?"

"Pretty much."

"We have? Because something doesn't add up. I can't imagine what would've made you that upset at that moment."

She thought for a moment and then asked, "You love me, right?"

"Yes," he said carefully.

"And that means that you love my personality with all of its quirks and captain-like tendencies?"

"I'd say that when two people are in love, they have more patience for each other's captain-like tendencies. I'm sure I have a few quirks myself."

She motioned towards her door. "That, out there, was me using my feminine wiles to get you away from your date and in here with me."

"You're sure that's all it was?"

"You're not upset?"

"No," he said with a shake of his head. "It's flattering that you thought you had to strategize to win my heart. But I am going to ask you not to put on any acts around me. I want to know how you're feeling from your body language, whether or not you use words to tell me."

"Okay." She caressed his face as she fought against a yawn. "I know that this is going to work, and I can't believe how at peace I feel right now. I've been agitated for months."

After enjoying her touch for a moment, he spoke quietly as he said, "I should go so you can sleep."

Tilting her head, she asked, "Do you want to go? Or need to, rather?"

"Neither, but I don't want to rush this, and there is a young woman out there whose feelings we should try to protect."

"Rush this? I really don't see that as a problem. We're not going to reverse directions regardless of how fast we go, and in fact, I dressed tonight with the intention of seducing you."

"You what?" he asked with a surprised laugh. Looking at her velour pantsuit, he asked, "I think you look very beautiful, but if you had seduction on the mind…"

"I'm not one to be obvious about my objectives." She put her arms around his neck and whispered, "Besides, you haven't seen my undergarments, yet."

"In other words, you haven't pulled out all the stops in your efforts to take me to bed?"

"Now that is something I don't have a defense for." She stood up and stretched in front of him. "But if you want to leave in order to protect the feelings of the third most beautiful woman on this ship instead of having mind-blowing sex with the woman you love, that's up to you."

"Kathryn," he half admonished. "I just feel that…" He froze in place as she dropped her top to reveal a black plunge bra.

"You just what?" she asked as she loosened the drawstring at her waist and let her pants dip down past her naval.

"Um… I'm not sure. What are you doing?"

"Showing up naked." She tossed him her pants and sauntered towards the bedroom wearing nothing but the bra and a bare wisp of panties. "I'm going to have an orgasm now. You can either stay and participate, or you can have another chance tomorrow night to expound upon the redeeming qualities of my breasts."

As he followed her, he said, "I've been accused of stupidity a few times in my life. This is not going to be one of those times." When he arrived in her bedroom, his eyes nearly popped out of their sockets.

Stretched out seductively on her side, she said huskily, "I'm glad to hear it. Now, it's your turn to get naked."

* * *

The end of the first in what could be a series of stories set in the Delta Quadrant.


	2. Chapter 2

Objectives – Late Night Premonitions

Following Objectives, Kathryn has trouble sleeping because of what she learned about the future that will never happen. (On my website, there's a picture of KJ sitting in the messhall in the dark.)

* * *

"Kathryn?" Chakotay asked as he sat down next to her on the couch in the darkened mess hall. "Everything okay?"

Her eyes slowly rose to meet his. "I thought you were on duty."

"I am, but Harry just told me you were sitting in here alone, and didn't notice that he'd come in."

Looking around the room, she asked, "He's here?"

"No, he's back on the bridge now." He reached up to feel her forehead. "Are you feeling sick?"

"Don't think so, but your touch certainly feels nice."

He dropped his hand to her cup her cheek. "Then why aren't you sleeping?"

"Couldn't." Her eyes blinked heavily. "Guess I've gotten used to you being there."

"I've only been with you for three nights, and this training exercise was your idea."

"Well, when I suggested it two days ago, I didn't realize that I'd already become accustomed to having your arm as my pillow."

"Come here, then." He drew her to his side so that her head was lying on his shoulder. "Better?"

"Much. Think you could talk to your C.O. about getting nights off?"

"I'll see what I can do." Kissing the top of her head, he asked, "Now, tell me what's really bothering you."

"You don't buy my excuse?"

"Do you want me to?"

"Kind of." She laced their fingers together. "Because I can't talk about it."

"Temporal Prime Directive?"

"I suppose, although none of what I learned matters now. It's just disturbing and I had a bad dream about it tonight."

"And if I'm there, you don't think you'll have nightmares?"

"Hard to say, but I don't want to fall back to sleep just yet."

"Harry can run the drills for the rest of the night. It's time that he has more command responsibility anyway, right?"

She looked up at him. "You sure?"

"Do I need to check with my C.O. first?"

Smiling, she said, "Always a good idea."

Chakotay tapped his commbadge. "Chakotay to Janeway."

She tapped hers while shaking her head in amusement. "Go ahead, Commander."

"Permission to go off-duty? A friend needs my arm."

"Granted, but I'll need you, and that arm, first thing in the morning. Janeway out."

He leaned over and gave her a soft kiss. "Let's go to bed."

"Aren't you going to tell Harry?" she asked as he helped her get to her feet.

"Oh, he already knows. I put him in charge when I left, said he could report to me at end of his shift in the morning."

Kathryn playfully rapped her knuckles against his chest. "You're something else, you know?"

As they walked out of the messhall to the turbolift, he asked, "What if you tell me very succinctly what happened in the other timelines, and I promise not to ask any questions?"

"Deck three," she called out and then turned to face him. "That's a promise you won't be able to keep."

"That bad?"

She shrugged, trying not to convey any specific message. "Let's just say that I wished I hadn't asked, and I wish even more that they hadn't told me."

The lift doors opened and they walked down the corridor and into her quarters. "If you tell me, is it really likely to affect our future?"

"No." She covered her yawn with her fist. "But there's no reason for both of us to be haunted by a future that will never happen."

He took her into his arms and held her close. "Misery loves company."

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

After hugging for a moment, he whispered, "Come on. Let's go to bed."

"Do we have to?" Kathryn dragged her feet, but she let him lead her into the bedroom.

"I don't recall you saying that a few nights ago." He gave her a wink and asked, "May I take a quick shower?"

Flopping down onto the bed, she said, "It's all yours."

He looked at her sitting with her back against the headboard, her arms crossed, and her chin jutting out defiantly. "I imagine that you looked just like that when you were a teenager."

Her eyes narrowed. "Thin ice, mister."

"All right, all right." He blew her a kiss and said, "I'll be right back."

Kathryn moped for a few more minutes and then sighed heavily as she accepted her fate. She knew that she was going to end up telling him eventually, but she really wanted to try to keep him from having to think about it.

She got up and changed back into the pajamas she'd been wearing earlier – an oversized cotton shirt and long, knit pants. Since she could hear the sonic showering running, she went into the bathroom and asked, "Mind if I clean my teeth?"

"Not at all. It is your bathroom."

"I was thinking about that earlier," she said as she picked up her sonic tooth cleaner.

He turned off the sonic shower and pulled his pajama pants on. "Thinking about what?"

"We should combine our quarters. If we redesign the space, we could create more room for storage and another desk."

"Sounds good." He wrapped his arms around her from behind, looking at their reflection in the mirror. "Do you have a plan or would you like me to work something up?"

"I've got a plan, but you can look at it before we start moving bulkheads."

"I'm sure it will be perfect." After giving her a quick squeeze, he cleaned his teeth, too.

Once they were lying side by side in bed, she asked, "Why do I feel awkward about tonight?"

"You feel awkward?"

"I'm not sure how to act around you. Seems ridiculous."

He turned on his side to face her, his head propped up by his arm. "You don't need to act any certain way."

"I know," she said as she studied his face, tracing the line of his jaw. "I'm just on edge about the bad dream, I guess."

"I have a theory. Want to hear it?"

Dropping her hand, she said, "Shoot."

"So far, every night that we've spent together started with us making out on the couch, and ended up with us tumbling into bed." He leaned forward and gave her a simple kiss. "But tonight, we're going to bed without any preamble."

"You're suggesting that we have sex every night?"

"No," he said with a slight blush. "Unless you want to, of course. I'm merely suggesting that this is our first night of normal life without sex, and that you should get comfortable and be yourself without worrying about the fact that I'm here."

"Shouldn't we have an extended good night kiss or something?"

He smiled. "Have you lived with a man before?"

"Nope. Mark and I had intimate relations, of course, but there weren't any normal nights of just being together. What about you?"

"No, can't say that I've ever lived with a man," he joked.

Rolling her eyes, she said, "Incorrigible."

"Like you, I haven't actually moved in with anyone. Just got together every now and then."

"That's nice, actually." She reached up and tousled his hair. "That means that this might be the most meaningful relationship for either of us."

"I suppose."

"You suppose? Is that because I've been engaged twice?"

"You don't have to be engaged to be in a meaningful relationship."

"Point taken."

"Do you want to get engaged?"

"Not just to put a label on this relationship, no."

"Do you want to get engaged for the purposes of announcing our commitment?"

She tapped his chest with her index finger. "I want to get engaged when you ask me to marry you. Call me old-fashioned, but I think there should be some romance to a proposal and a period of courtship beforehand."

He kissed her fingertip and said, "I'll keep that in mind."

Yawning again, she asked, "So, what about this sleeping business? Think I can avoid it?"

"Come here," he whispered as he took her into his arms and gave her a soft, lingering kiss. "I'll be right here."

"Mmmm," she hummed happily. "Maybe we could have sex. That would keep us awake."

"It's after two. We both need sleep."

She was quiet for a minute and then asked, "Wake me if I get agitated?"

"At the first sign."

"I don't usually react this way, but…"

"Shhhhhhhhh," he said as he rubbed her back. "I love you, Kathryn."

She snuggled in and let his strength surround her, thinking about how silly she was being over a nightmare. The only reason she was allowing herself to be consoled was because she'd invited the man into her personal life, not to mention her heart, and because that nightmare was the worst she could ever remember experiencing.

* * *

Chakotay woke suddenly, but he wasn't sure why until he realized that he was cold. He reached for Kathryn only to find that she wasn't there. Sitting up, he called out, "Kathryn?"

When no answer came, he got out of bed and saw that the bathroom door was closed. Knocking lightly, he asked, "Kathryn? Are you okay?"

He heard her tell the computer to open the door just before it slid away, startling him with the sudden light. "Kathryn?"

"Decrease bathroom lighting by fifty percent." She was sitting on the edge of the tub, wrapped in her bathrobe and looking completely forlorn. "I didn't want to wake you."

He came over and brushed his fingers through her hair. "Wasn't I supposed to wake you? Nightmare?"

"Yeah." She straightened her back and wrapped her arms around herself. "I don't quite know how to handle this."

Chakotay looked around at the towel on the floor, the damp washcloth laying beside her on the tub, and the full glass of water sitting on the counter. "Did you get sick?"

She nodded, looking sad and despondent. "I guess that didn't wake you or you would've been in here ten minutes ago."

"I got cold." He kneeled in front of her, held her hands, and studied her eyes. "My advice as the man who everyone seems to bring their problems to is that you should…"

"…find someone to take my problems to?" she finished his sentence.

"It would be a good idea. Whatever this is, you shouldn't have to go through it alone."

"Think the Relativity would come back if I caused a temporal incursion?"

"Probably. Why?"

"So I could talk to one of them. Maybe they have a counselor onboard who can deal with people who are disturbed about timelines that no longer exist."

"Talk to me," he encouraged her. "And don't worry about upsetting me because seeing you this unhappy is upsetting me already."

Cupping his cheek, she said, "You're sweet to offer, but trust me when I say that this is a much better alternative than sharing my nightmares."

"Kathryn, we can keep having this discussion all night, or you can tell me what happened."

She blinked slowly and sighed. "That was blunt."

"Sorry, it's almost four in the morning."

"I'm sorry." Kathryn withdrew her hands and made a move to get up. "Let's go back to bed."

"I'm not moving until you tell me what happened."

She closed her eyes and covered her mouth, looking like she was about to be sick again.

"Do you need the toilet?"

Shaking her head, she managed to say, "Nothing left."

"Just say it quick. Get the shocking part out and we'll go from there."

Her eyes found his for just a second before they closed again. Dropping her hand, she capitulated. "Timeline two – I was assimilated as the next Borg Queen with the intent of destroying either the Federation or the Borg."

His mouth dropped open. "What?"

Gaining strength, she kept going. "This nightmare is assimilation, but nothing like what I experienced last year."

"The next queen?"

She looked at the ceiling. "I don't know the specifics, just that there was some kind of a plan that I infiltrate the Borg and destroy them. I was supposed to be rescued, but I wasn't."

"My God." He covered his mouth with his hand. Shaking his head, he continued, "Why in the hell would they tell you that?"

"They were trying to convince me to make the changes that they wanted me to make, that staying out here is the best life all of us could have, so long as I saved your life and twenty-something others from this crew."

"Did you have a choice in the matter?"

"No, but my other two selves wanted me to be happy out here, wanted me to live my life to the fullest despite my circumstances, because it's not like the other two lives worked out. I died by assimilation in both timelines. Can you imagine?"

"Both?"

"The oldest Janeway infected herself with Icheb's nanovirus and got herself assimilated so she could kill the queen." She folded her hands together in front of her face. "I need you to promise me something, Chakotay."

"What's that?"

"If I ever get the stupid idea to infiltrate the Borg for any reason whatsoever, lock me in the brig."

"Like Unimatrix Zero?"

"Precisely like Unimatrix Zero. I do not want to die by assimilation. If that should happen, I want you to pull the trigger, Chakotay. Blow up whatever Borg ship I'm on and put me out of my misery."

"Oh, Kathryn." He looked away, unable to stomach her request.

She took hold of his face and forced him to look her in the eye. "I need you to promise me."

With a sigh, he yielded. "If I see no way to save you, yes, I'll put you out of your misery."

"Thank you." She tapped his chest again. "But if I get that far, it's only because you didn't lock me up."

"Oh great, so if you get assimilated and I have to kill you, I'm going to not only deal with the pain of your loss, but I have to live with the guilt that I let it happen?"

"It won't matter because we're not going to let it happen."

Rubbing his face, he said, "Of course, it's not like I wouldn't feel guilty no matter how I lost you."

"Still want to know about my nightmare?"

"Yes," he said with a sigh. "But is this assimilation dream different than the ones you've had before?"

Pulling them both to her feet, Kathryn stood in front of the mirror and looked at her reflection. "The Borg Queen has no body. She is a head, shoulders, and spinal column that the Borg attach to a body when needed. Otherwise, she is connected directly into her sphere."

Chakotay looked like he was going to be sick.

"The nightmares are the Borg cutting off my body." She turned to face him and put her hands on his shoulders. "That's why I need you to destroy me if I get assimilated. Not only do I not want to have to experience that, I wouldn't have a body to rescue."

He closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on his breathing. "If we ever see any traces of Borg activity, we'll be running the other way."

"And we need to be diligent about creating a defense. Both of my other selves mentioned transphasic torpedoes and a retractable armor that protected Voyager."

"Okay," Chakotay said with a shaky voice. "Let's find a way to introduce it to the senior staff without letting them know where we got the idea."

"Thank you." She rose up on her toes and kissed him. "I know this adds to your burdens. That's the last thing I wanted."

"We're a couple now, Kathryn. All of our burdens are shared."

Touching his face, she commented, "Feels like we've been sharing burdens since the day we met."

"Yes, it does. Because that's when I fell in love with you. Remember the angry warrior legend?"

A huge smile spread across her face. "Yes, but tell me again. Do you remember it?"

"I remember the gist of it."

"Tell me," she encouraged.

He took her hand and led her into the bedroom, turning the bathroom light off along the way. "There's a story, an ancient legend among my people, about an angry warrior who lived his life in conflict with the rest of his tribe."

"A contrary," she added as they crawled into bed.

"Yes, a contrary, as my father described me." Drawing her into his arms, he said, "This man couldn't find peace, no matter what he tried. As a youth, he left his home to seek happiness among the stars. As a man, he found himself discontent and lonely, although he found some satisfaction when he was in battle, trying to right certain wrongs."

"This sounds a little different."

"It has been how many years since I told you?"

"Five."

"Do you remember things word for word that you said five years ago?"

"Go on," she encouraged.

"So, he found honor in battle and became a hero among his tribe, but the warrior continued to search for peace within himself with the help of his spirit guide. One day he and his people were captured by a neighboring tribe led by a woman warrior." Chakotay looked down at her, his heart filling with love.

"Tell me about her. What she pretty?"

"She was beautiful." He traced one of her eyebrows as he described, "Her eyes were deep blue when she felt passion, dark gray when she was angry, and as blue as Earth's sky when she was happy."

"They change colors that much?"

"Yes, they do. The angry warrior was in love with her. Did you know that?"

"I had a hunch."

"She called on him to join her because her tribe was too small and weak to defend itself from all its enemies. The woman warrior was brave, beautiful, and very wise."

"She sounds too good to be true."

He shook his head. "She was a gift of the spirits, and so the angry warrior swore to himself that he would stay by her side, doing whatever he could to make her burdens lighter. From that point on, her needs would come first. And in that way, the warrior began to know the true meaning of peace… and love."

"Thank you. That story seems very fitting tonight."

"Yes, it does." Chakotay cupped her jaw and gave her a warm kiss. "Sleep now, my beautiful warrior. I'll be right here."

* * *


End file.
